Last night, I woke up in the early morning hours having heard a noise. I listened for a moment to see if it was the dog, kid 1, or kid 2. It was none of the above. I did, however, see a mid-20s Asian man, looking down at me from the center of the room. He crept around toward my side of the bed, grinned, and then pivoted and walked out.
I was so panic stricken that I froze. Shit felt like I was glued to the bed. Eventually, I mustered a small whimper, and that seemed to free me up. I leaped out of bed, and Cathy asked me what the hell was going on. I sneaked out of the room without responding and made it to the living room, ready to beat the ever-loving shit out of this creepazoid intruder, when I realized that the home invader demographics were completely fucking unbelievable and that I'd obviously just been in some horrific hypnagogic sleep paralytic nightmare zone. I went back to bed.
I've had sleep paralysis before, but never with hallucinations. What a fucking shitshow! Man, fuck that shit. I totally get why people believe in aliens now. If I'd hallucinated aliens and had an IQ of 67, I would believe in those bitches for real.